Does forgiving means forgetting?
Many people believe that to forgive someone they must first be willing to forget. By this they mean that they must be able to dismiss from their memory the painful events that caused a break in their relationship. In other words, they need to pretend that nothing bad ever happened.
Simply trying to forget the wrongs that are done against us is like spray-painting a rusty old car. It seems like an easy solution at first, but eventually the rust breaks through and the problem is worse than before.
but for me, it was something else.
First of all, I will not excuse you. You are being an asshole and since it is not a rare thing but a way of life for you. I will not excuse it.
Don't bother to apologize to make yourself better and try to gloss over the fact that you are an ass. Trust me, everyone already knows! and just maybe you should temper your reactions so you don't do stupid things that you wind up apologizing for later. I have, after years of experience, come to sad conclusion that this is part of your character. So do not expect an "it's ok, don't worry about it" saying in response to your 'apology' cause it ain't coming, babe. I have no intention of soothing your conscience - or whatever it is you have that passes for one.
Lastly, I am my own person. I do not respect your opinion or point of view. I am self-determining individual who does things the best way she can and accepts the rewards or consequences of her choices. I have to. The fact that you are unable or unwilling to look at yourself through anything but rose-colored glasses are no longer my problem. You have issues. You should know this by yourself. Not dealing with them is your own choice, so do not bitch and complain to me or others when your life continues on the same pathetic path. It has been on since I've known you. You are a fool and I have no use for you.
Best wishes,
Qilod.
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